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You suck at padel. There, I said it. But don’t worry, this mug has your back. It’s not your fault, obviously. It’s your partner. Or the racket. Or the ball. Basically, anything except you. And that’s precisely the kind of energy this mug gives off every single morning.
You’ll sit there sipping your tea, staring at the chart like it’s cold, hard science.
Partner: 46%.
Court: 27%.
Racket: 16%.
Ball: 10%.
You? Just 1%. Pure, flawless, untouchable.
An actual victim of circumstance. And honestly, if you’re nodding right now, this mug was made for you.
It’s blunt. It’s ridiculous. And it’s a perfect way of saying, “Yeah, I lost, but let’s not point fingers at me.” Except you are pointing fingers. Just not in your own direction. Exactly how it should be.
It’s an 11-oz mug. Standard size. Holds tea, coffee, or whatever you drink to soften the blow of another humiliating defeat. The handle fits a hand.
The print is bold, bright, and colourful. Yes, the details matter, but let’s be honest—you didn’t come here for technical specs. You came here to feel better about being rubbish at padel.
Picture this: you rock up to a game, lose miserably, then the next morning you smugly sip from this mug like you’ve been vindicated. Suddenly, losing feels less like failure and more like a lifestyle choice. You’re not terrible—you’re just cursed with bad luck, foul balls, and a worse partner. Obviously.
Your mates will see it and laugh. Your doubles partner might not. That’s half the fun. This mug isn’t polite. It doesn’t whisper “better luck next time.” It screams “this isn’t my fault” before you’ve even taken a sip.
The best part? You’ll never have to say a word. The mug does the talking while you quietly enjoy your coffee and plot your next excuse. You’re already losing games, so at least win the post-match banter.
Why should you own it? Because deep down you know it’s true.
